Saturday, November 28, 2009

::Exam2::

Exam Day 6

Today is another rainy Saturday, i'm at SBS classroom aka exam HQ now~

This week has been an awesome week=)

God healed me on tuesday, i was having the worst headache ever with slight fever, and the next morning is gonna be the exam for my killer module of communication history and theories. I got back to room very early, around 8.30pm, was just keep praying that i'll have a little bit more energy to look through my notes again, then i'll guai guai go to sleep and rest else i'll have fever next morning.

Amazingly, as i started to read the notes, slowly the headache subside, and i just go on and on with the notes, until it's 11pm and i don't even realize it! waoh!

very very thankful, God has straighten my faith much through small miracles like these ^^

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

::Exam1::

Exam Day2

Yesterday i had my first paper. And it was amazing!! i know that it was such a miracle, let me shout at the top of my voice that God is good! ^^

Yesterday i had marketing paper, i didn't know it doesn't have MCQ this time round, and a lot of things i thought will come out ended up didn't come out.. And during the last 20 minutes, i was getting nervous already because i still left two questions that are 20% and 10% respectively incomplete, was just flipping through the book hysterically since it's open book exam, was really thankful when i saw the answer suddenly, with my limited time i just write down all the keywords onto the paper.

the time now left less than 10 minutes, and i was contemplating on giving up the 10% question already, i flipped to the questions one last time in desperate attempt to squeeze something out of my brain..suddenly a solution come to my mind!!!!! i frantically wrote down everything i can think of and when i put down my pen finally, immediately the invigilator announced that time's up. Waoh!!!!!!!!!!! i finished the paper in time!!!

Though i don't know what grade i will score for this paper..but the strengthening of my faith is worth more than an alphabet on a piece of paper =)

Yesterday before exam while doing my qt, this verse reminds me of the sovereignty of God a lot:

The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
but victory rests with the LORD.
-Proverbs 21:31

Amen! =)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

::Pre4::

Yes, it's still not exam yet, but i've decided to stop counting all the counts...

Cooked for my CG just now, with a very cozy unit meet in my room. Felt so happy and belonged to be sitting there..and also cooking with qinning, brenda, chong jyn and guofeng. We weren't brilliant.. but just the love the feeling of people trying their best to do something they are not good at in order to bless someone. It reminds of my favourite scene in the movie Forrest Gump and the Grinch.

was just thinking, what is selfless love? Last night and today was just thinking...if i can't even show my love to people whom i love the most..then how can i claim that i love people? and a lot of time it's harder than i thought to show my love and care especially for those whom i want to. i just dunno why.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

::Pre3::

this is a Pre-Exam post 3.

Day count: -5
Candy count: 9
Cookie count: >10
Movie count: 3
Page count: [gave up already]
Sleep count: still a lot more than I need..man..i need a lot of motivation to wake up.
Animal Count: [This is where i count how many animals i look like] 4...Hamster, Snake, Rabbit, Pooh

Yesterday was quite a slacking day.

I ended up watching two more movie, that's 3 movies in 2 days.LOL.
All nice movies though, i watched Forrest Gump, Love Actually, The Proposal. Forrest Gump top the list by far, it's such an amazing movie, i strongly recommend it to you if you haven't watch it.

And on top of that, i killed cockroach for the first time in my life. TWO cockroaches eh!!

In the end i used up the whole can of Shieldtox Rui Xia and Tracy borrowed from our neighbor. No wonder they say cockroach can survive atomic bomb explosion, after seeing how the cockroaches' limbs are still twitching hours after i sprayed them with the whole can of Shieldtox, i totally have no doubt bout this saying.

Yah! hours after the showdown they are still twitching their disgusting little limbs!
I stood infront of it dunno what to do for a long time, then i tell God: "erm, dunno whether can pray this or not, but ah....God, can you let them die faster? they still moving ehhhhhhh...."

Ended up i msg Chong Jyn at 11pm, asked him to come help me get rid of the evil remains. LOL.he tried to scare me using the remains lor!!

haha..oh yah..i did studied a bit in between

Sunday, November 15, 2009

::Wedding::

This is my second post for the day. Studying at SBS has been fruitful, but not less distracting though, thanks to the wonderful internet.

Why do i wanna blog about wedding?

Cause i just know from Facebook one of my ex-classmate is getting married. At first I thought it's just a joke, but then i realized it's not, never in a million years will i imagine she is the first one to get married from our class. Ok i am being over-exaggerating, but it's just...so unbelievable.

One year ago we all thought it would be another guy that she'll be with, can't believe one year down the road, she's getting engaged with another guy. Guess that's life. I wouldn't have guessed also I would be where i am now one year ago.

Think that all girls just want a perfect wedding, sunset down the road, perfect gown, nice flowers. It's a girl's dream to have a perfect wedding. Myself included. My friends are so excited in the email chain, suggesting the perfect place to get a gown, how to prepare for a perfect wedding day, who's gonna get married next, etc. Girls just go crazy when someone we know is getting married.Haha.

What will ultimately be the perfect wedding every girl want?-- To see a special someone down the aisle. Think for every girl, the dream for a perfect wedding extend after the wedding day, we all dream of a perfect future of eternal bliss.

Think the perfect wedding will only be perfect if at the end of our life, we can look back and smile in the memories of that faded-day where we walk down that aisle. Smile at all the laughter and tears life have brought us.

Not sure i'll be invited to the wedding though, we're not that close, plus i am over here in singapore anyway. If i can, i would like to be there also, cause it's like Christmas, doesn't really matter how close that person is to you, you just wish to see everyone with a smile on their face. Well, at least for me i do think so.

Wishing you a fulfilling life, Aiko =)

::Pre2::

this is a Pre-Exam post 2.

Day count: -7
Candy count: 9
Page count: [gave up already]
Sleep count: more than I actually need, i think i'm just pure lazy
Animal Count: [This is where i count how many animals i look like] 3...Hamster, Snake, Pooh

Today is the earliest I woke up in ages. I woke up at 8.19am!!! Waoh!! I bet you are surprised and proud of me also right? Haha.

I didn't manage to study last night =(
But it's still an awesome day.

I found a perfect place to do my morning quiet time just now.
Blue Sky.Butterfly.Flowers.Water.Sunshine.Wind.Tree.Grass.
just the way i like it =)



With some imagination, this is how it would look like.haha

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

::Pre::

this is a Pre-Exam post.

Day count: -11
Candy count: 3
Page count: !()*&#(^&%&^&*()!*)_)(@(&#*&$^&*^&@(
[lost count]

How is this semester's exam gonna be like?

You? How's your pre-exam?

Friday, November 6, 2009

::Rain::


It has rain for a few days already, heavy rain like drops of tears from heaven itself, maybe the angels are weeping for the world.

I love the sound of raindrop. It tinkles like the bell of Tinkerbell. =p
I love the wind. It makes it so comfortable to tuck myself o bed under the warm blanket.

I used to love the rain a lot, cause that time me and my ex have this silly ritual of saying we're cold and need a hug when it rains.

After that I hated the rain, cause we broke up during rainy day. And it just so emo and gloomy to me.

As time pass, I love the rain again, cause the world looks so beautiful after the rain. Love how the rain drop glitter on the leaf and flowers around me, love the rainbow after the rain that feels like having hope after a depressing situation.

The tree in front of School of Communication and Information blooms with pretty pink flowers lately. Oh, i just love walking underneath it and seeing the flowers drop down slowly to form a sea of pink on top of the patch of green grass.

It just make it feels like life is worth living for such beauty in God's creation.





Thursday, November 5, 2009

::Blood2::

My lips cracked and bleed again this morning.

O God, when will the wound close?
O God, when will the hurting stops?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

::Blood::

i was wiping my tears away when i see blood on the tissue, when i looked into the mirror i realize my lip has cracked so badly that it started to bleed, for a few minutes it seems like the blood just keep rushing out and won't stop. it's so painful to be pressing the tissue against my exposed lip.

yes it hurts.

i'm suddenly reminded by Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love:

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

it's a nice song, but it sounds wrong. And one thing for sure, it's way too emo, listening to it will only drown one in the endless ocean of self-justification and self-pity.

i'm reminded by another song, Rascal Flatts' What Hurts The Most:

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do


Yes another nice song. Seriously, what hurts the most? it seems like it will expand by each hurt and pain we go through, and through it we will grow stronger. Each time it will seem as if this is as far as we can go and bear, but somehow after that this limit will be put to test as another thing replace it to be the thing that "hurts the most".

In case you are thinking i am in the "emo" mode now, rest assured, i am stronger than this, i have learn that hiding away from the world, from God, from people, and from myself won't help at all, nope, not even one tiny little bit. I want to stand upon truth and grace that comes from His Words, not from some random lyrics.

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

Its all about you
Jesus


I am not emo-ing, but it won't change the fact that bleeding hurts, and the closer it is to your heart, the more it hurts.

i feel like blogging this, but i hope i don't make sense to you.
And if i make sense to you, pray for me =)