::Me::

somehow i have a lot of friends, but more than one of my closest friend have approached me and say they don't really see the real me..like i'm always trying to please everyone, always ok, always strong, always smiling...

i look at my blog..and i realized they are so right.

you wanna know who i am?

i am forgetful, it's unbelievable the stuff i tend to forget, even the most precious memories sometime can be forgotten and need several reminders for me to recall them again.

i love the nature, i can sigh in adoration in front of the falling leaves, i can cry in amazement at the sunset, i can scream in excitement the moment i see a cute animal, i feel trapped in singapore because i cannot go to the beach as and when i want, i can stare at the night sky with stars for hours.

i am lazy, i actually don't mind not showering for one night, i cook maggi and don't feel like washing the bowl, i just wanna sleep the day away sometimes.

i am insecure, i have a tendency to silently compare myself to other people and grade myself in comparison to them, i try to attract attention cause i think if i don't no one would ever notice me, i always pick up a call with the expectancy that someone would scold me and say i am not good enough, i'm scared of people leaving me cause one day they might realize that i am actually not good enough.

i am rebellious, if there's a sign that says "Danger:DO NOT COME NEAR", i would most probably go near.

i love the color purple, but i will go "awhh" in front of spectrum of colors.

i am good at massaging, i love to give people massages cause i think i'm lousy at giving wise counsel or comfort.

i cry uncontrollably when i thought of or heard of people that pass away. even if it's someone i don't know. i remembered hiding inside my room to tear silently when i first saw the news of 911 on tv that night.

i sometimes use words and actions sub-consciously or consciously expecting people to respond the way i want, in other words, manipulation.

do you want to know more?

then come nearer to see the real me.

i am always me. just different side of me sometimes.