::Boxing::

It's the day after Christmas. Boxing Day!!

I've always wonder what it exactly means.

haha, if you're a curiosity cat like me then can go educate yourselves bah~
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_Day

Seems like a lot has happened since my last post.

Last Sun [20/12]


i went to volunteer at Hope Tots with Hui Min and Steve. It's such a wonderful experience!! Hope i can have the chance to be a full volunteer there. =) After that i went to Suntec to listen to the caroling. Christmas songs never fail to bring a smile to my face, even if my mood was down..it's like ice-cream!!



Tues [22/12]



it's was yanyu's bday =) a few of us went to visit MV Doulos at Vivo there. It's my 1st time on board the ship in Sg, 3rd time in my life i think.
Love how the crew greeted everyone with a big smile and tried to be as helpful as possible. After i parted with everyone i silently stroll back to the deck there and just sat in front of the ship, in front of a beautiful sunset [with all the construction works going on].. I needed some time to be alone, to sit around people whom i do not know...


Went to meet Annie after that at Dhoby Ghaut, so glad for the time spent just chatting, catching up, having silly girl talk..and ice-cream!!! ice-cream is my comfort food. We went to orchard central after dinner, the view at lvl 11 and lvl 12 are so nice! i just hope there is no one around, love to feel the wind in my hair, the breeze that sweeps across my face. It's indeed my personal "silent night" in the midst of all the HooHah going on at the street just 11 levels below.

Wed [23/12] Went to SMU to meet up with my gang for the performance, happy for this chance to contribute my ideas for this celebration, had a good laugh also cuz i sat beside Ben Tay.haha. Went to meet Liting with YingJie at Bugis, we went to the MOF there and shared a ice-cream sundae, haha, cuz the rest of the stuff are too expensive for us, oh, we also got a pot of free green tea also, haha, so the table didn't look that empty.

One thing we talked about leave a deep impression in my heart, Liting said churches nowadays seems like too kua zhang, music and what not, shouldn't church be strict or stuff like that? [Ya, indeed, it seems like a lot of people are getting confused by the different christian denominations going on..a search on the net says that there might be as many as 23,000 Protestant denominations worldwide!!!!] I just told her that it's like having a house and keep changing the tv or the deco of your house, at the end of the day, it's not the style of the house that makes your house your home, but rather, the people you love that's living in it. Doesn't really matter how many times you move house of whatever, but the most important thing is your family.

Thurs [24/12] it's my first time serving as usher in a combine event. My experience?---Painful-Sweet...Painful cause the evil pairs of heels that nearly make me bleed, sweet cause it's a wonderful christmas experience =) i met an uncle that insist of chopping seats for his caregroup member, he's about the age of my dad, he's as dark and talkative as my dad too! haha...the only different is---he has a zeal for God... I didn't do anything for anyone this christmas, no cards no presents..only some sms that i mean it form the bottom of my heart, thanks for all that has taken your precious time to remember me on this christmas season, thank you for making me so surprised and loved:

• Liting
  
• Timothy Yeo Zi Min
• Zachary Alexander Lee Shao Ren
• Tracy Goh Hui Hui
• Justinna Lim
• Qinny Pei
• Ong Eng Seng
  

i think i cried a lot this christmas, over the simple truth that God really loves me a lot...He is so perfect that it makes me feel so assured and secured...yet how can i still fail him time and again? how can i still didn't trust Him enough?

Fri [25/12]


i went out with kok siong and kok weng for our small christmas dinner, went to eat botak jones and then ice-cream at Udders. Simple dinner but appreciated it cause at least i don't have to be alone on christmas, think it'll be horrible if i spent my first christmas in Singapore locked in room eating maggi alone T,T

Sat[26/12]

Went to visit Mv Doulos again with Kok Siong n Gerard. Today is the last day of Doulos! I'll miss it! there's an open house there, me n ks took a few funny photos. We bought two books there. I wanted to eat the one-dollar road-side ice-cream so much!! haha cause didn't eat it on tuesday cause that day everyone is like keep walking so fast..i decided agaist it lastly and drank sugar cane instead, cause i'm having a minor sore throat today.
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It has been an eventful week no doubt, but somehow it feels as if a huge chunk of dunno what has been taken away.....................

::Me::

somehow i have a lot of friends, but more than one of my closest friend have approached me and say they don't really see the real me..like i'm always trying to please everyone, always ok, always strong, always smiling...

i look at my blog..and i realized they are so right.

you wanna know who i am?

i am forgetful, it's unbelievable the stuff i tend to forget, even the most precious memories sometime can be forgotten and need several reminders for me to recall them again.

i love the nature, i can sigh in adoration in front of the falling leaves, i can cry in amazement at the sunset, i can scream in excitement the moment i see a cute animal, i feel trapped in singapore because i cannot go to the beach as and when i want, i can stare at the night sky with stars for hours.

i am lazy, i actually don't mind not showering for one night, i cook maggi and don't feel like washing the bowl, i just wanna sleep the day away sometimes.

i am insecure, i have a tendency to silently compare myself to other people and grade myself in comparison to them, i try to attract attention cause i think if i don't no one would ever notice me, i always pick up a call with the expectancy that someone would scold me and say i am not good enough, i'm scared of people leaving me cause one day they might realize that i am actually not good enough.

i am rebellious, if there's a sign that says "Danger:DO NOT COME NEAR", i would most probably go near.

i love the color purple, but i will go "awhh" in front of spectrum of colors.

i am good at massaging, i love to give people massages cause i think i'm lousy at giving wise counsel or comfort.

i cry uncontrollably when i thought of or heard of people that pass away. even if it's someone i don't know. i remembered hiding inside my room to tear silently when i first saw the news of 911 on tv that night.

i sometimes use words and actions sub-consciously or consciously expecting people to respond the way i want, in other words, manipulation.

do you want to know more?

then come nearer to see the real me.

i am always me. just different side of me sometimes.

::Baby::

I am a mum!!
wahaha!!

and tis time my baby is living, crawling around, breathing..and real! [yes this one is REAL!]

haha...i don't have a photo of my baby yet, due to the tragic death of my handphone [drowning accident]...

i spent quite some time thinking what shall i name my baby~~something adorable, catchy, easy to remember...

i even go to translator website and try to come out with an exotic foreign language name..then i realize it's quite hard to pronounce hebrew, greek, or russian..don't even try to write it..

it's still not confirm yet..but at this stage i'm leaning towards Chestnut. cute eh?

My baby still very shy to this new world, scared of touch or even my small breath..the eyes and nose are totally adorable!!

well..here is a photo from the net~it's as close as i can get...use your imagination and wait for the upload of my baby's photo ya~~

::Awesome::

It's official-- God is awesome. Seriously.

Today i had Earthlink sub-comm meeting early morning..after which when everyone has gone, it's just left me and my main comm and another sub comm, both guys are malaysian from EEE. And as the conversation unfolds, i shared with them my conversion story! it is totally unexpected and never in my plan. After which my main comm shared that he has actually attended NTU's buddhism society for two years and he feels that the teachings are good, but he just don't believer in reincarnation and souls and the world having a creator; while the other guy is just living life without thinking deep, just wanna live by. Regardless of their reaction and perception, just really glad that i'm given this privilege by God to be the one to scatter seeds in their hearts. I strongly believe that no labor in the LORD is EVER in vain.

After service i was really nervous, i prayed while on the bus to Meridian, prayed while walking there..the first thing i do when i reached is to walk around to find the grandma that i want to give the card to. but to my initial horror, the grandma is not there tonight!! As i was walking around i started to think: God, are You joking with me? How come u asked me to come and give the card but she's not here? And i just keep walking round and round, i saw zach and told him bout it, i told him i feel like God is joking with me. He look at me seriously all of a sudden and tells me God never joke, and i already won by having the faith and the heart to do it.

i told qr, es and jy about it, then was just thinking maybe God wants me to reach out to different people instead. Cuz i was walking round and round the foodcourt so was just telling them perhaps i should walk seven rounds =p

But we decided to do something spontaneous after dinner, we decided to walk around the foodcourt and invite the aunties and uncles working there instead. As we approach them with faith, i truly know that God's amazing hands are behind all these. Though none of them confirm they wanna come or even show slight interest, i know they are truly blessed by the cookies we gave them, i was quite surprised actually that most of them asked how much they need to pay for the cookies or if they need to do anything in return for the cookies.

After we marched finish, we went outside of Meridien to shout praise to God.haha.literally. And as we shared how we feel about this small experience, was really encouraged that all of us manage to have a breakthrough through this small thing.

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The conclusion of the matter is- GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!

I really can't comprehend how exciting and awesome He is!!!!!!!

He took my original plan and use it to His greater purpose, He gave me a small vision and desire and turn it into a totally unexpected spirit-filled night for the four of us.

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It seems like a lot of ppl in our midst need prayers, for healing; for strength; for faith...qr, yj, jt, jy, gerard, sam sim, es, qinning, zach, yy....

Sometimes it just seems like there's too many things to be prayed and i have so little time.

Above all, LORD let us remain in You as You remain in us.

Amen ♥

::December::

This December is gonna be amazing. I just know it in my heart and bones. And why can't it be right? It's Christmas and it already have a great start so far.

Today while in the bus to church, i was quite amused by the new tagline Singapore Tourism Board has launched for Orchard this Christmas, it's quite funny that they would have tagline for a street, i mean, normally it's one tagline for whole country, but i guess in Singapore, orchard is considered as a city or even state.

Anyway. the tagline is "One Christmas, One Hope".
We really do have only one hope in a world coined "Decade of Hell" by TIME magazine, but i wonder what kind of Hope the tourism board have in mind when they adopted this line.

I remembered Xing Ni shared something about hope in one of the SubD meet we had this sem, can't remember the exact words but it's about this world in itself is without hope, and we can have only one source of hope, that is , in Him.

Today was really blessed, Eng Seng bought me durian pancake! i feel so "shou chong ruo jing"! I finally have my craving satisfied! And was really touched cuz i know that despite not liking the durian he still go buy for me and stand the smell of it.

After dinner ES, YY, JT, Gerard and me went to PS, we were walking walking and then somehow as the discussion rolls, we come up with the idea of making cookies to bless the freshies in the OG during this christmas season. I am very excited by this, another opportunity to do everything i love! decorating, baking, talking, sharing, blessing =) I can't wait to see what miracles this christmas will bring to us

While we were walking at PS, we stop a while outside Times and Eng Seng pointed at one of the christian books on display and said that he once watched a video of this pastor and how he was disappointed cuz when asked whether people will really go to hell if they don't follow Jesus, he gave a vague answer, then YanYu said that a lot of people are not willing to hear about the gospel precisely because of the Hell idea.

What would be my respond if someone asked me whether they will go to hell if they are not christian?

I wished just as many atheist does, that dying without receiving Him is not that bad and maybe won't go to hell. I wished it could really be like that cuz my own grandparents died without receiving Him, and my parents and siblings have yet to come to know him, how i wish how i wish how i wish...but above all, i know God's sovereignty. So even though it's hard to accept, i know it's the truth.

There's a lot of things in my heart that i want to pray for in this coming week.

Give thanks first for all the awesomeness He's gonna bring in this month