Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Finally, in the quiet of the night, i have time to blog.

Being back at Sabah hasn't turned out the way i have expected it to be. Some better than i thought, some worse, all in all, it could have been better i guess.

There's many things to give thanks for, like eating nice food, hanging out with friends, shopping, visiting Hope KK, and going fishing with my dad and brother.

But, one thing that i haven't done as well as i would have hoped seems to make the rest look insignificant, and that's my time spent with God.

Going out everyday, slacking at the couch and watching drama have filled my mind with a lot of noises. And the fact that the more i reflect about certain things in my life, the more i can't make sense of it is giving me a headache and makes me want to just go to sleep.

How childish is that.

Oh wells, saying is one thing, but in reality, i can't just "go to sleep" and forget about it. It bugs me every single time something trigger the button in my brain and make me think of it again. And the more i think and pray about it, more things will be revealed and brings out more questions.

Somehow, after one whole day of having fun and "busyness", i would only feel like i'm living and that the day has begun the moment i open my bible. I dunno how to describe this, but, on the days that i didn't open my Pooh Bible, it just feels so....empty...and tiring....

After 34 months of living with Him, i now can't live without Him.

In the midst of everything, i see one thing that is real:
"Fulfilling the Great Commission by raising Christ-centred disciples to plant vibrant, biblical churches in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia and all over the world."

Just because Hope KK has a small place for worship, doesn't mean that they have a smaller God. Just because other mega churches have humongous buildings doesn't mean that they have a more extravagant God.

He is the same.

Hope KK is so small that the pastor know every single person by name, and greet all the visitors (including me) by name before he began his sermon. It is in this small place, that i hear from God for the first time in my life how BIG He is.

And for the first time in my life, i had praise and worship in 3 different languages consecutively in one session! :)

Ironically, He has graciously allowed my QT to be quite fruitful, despite my unfaithfulness to it. What more can i say except His grace is enough for me?

This is what's real

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