In my previous post, I shared about how God brought me through depression and addiction. Right after that, I arrived at a moment where I am challenged again.
I remembered hearing from God that He will bring down the walls in my life a few months ago, like in Joshua 6 when He brought down the wall of Jericho and delivered them into the land victoriously.
But you see, in Joshua 7, right after this great miracle, they have to go to war again, and the situation quickly turned against them.
Bringing down the wall, though great, is not the end goal, the battle continues, the journey goes on.
Do not settle
Before getting my new job, I received a few other offers. They are decent enough (and hey,why should someone unemployed be so choosy anyway? right?) But, to be completely honeat, they are not what I like and the pay is lower than my expectation. I was getting stressed out and anxious, and in fear.
"what if this is already the best offer I will receive? what if I missed out and do not get another offer?" what if what if what if.
"who are you to say that you don't like this job? who are you to say that you can afford another week being unemployed?" who are you who are you who are you
I got too caught up in that moment, and realized that these thought patterns were damaging and need to be surrendered to God.
So this is the first thing I learned, do not lower your standard. Do not accept what life throws at you with no peace in your heart, because this life is passing. Financial difficulties or not, I am here on a journey heaven-ward. Not just surviving the concrete jungle.
Compromise on the small things, soon you'll compromise on the big things as well. (though to be fair, career choice might be the biggest choice for some)
So that's when I resolved I cannot take up this job that I know I have no peace in my heart to accept, I should have the confidence that my God will provide.
My new job is not only something I liked, but it's with a company I liked, and with higher pay as well.
His perfect way
After receiving the few initial job offers, I was praying that I really need a clear word from Him on whether I should accept the offers or not.
I saw a vision as I remembered Psalm 121, I saw Jesus standing on top of a mountain as I stood trapped inside a maze. He has the higher vantage point of view and already knew which way would be the best way for me to navigate through this maze, all I need to do is listen and trust.
And so I did.
(It is funny,but this song was on replay through my mind the whole time. haha. A children worship song! crazy right? oh,this was also the only worship song I remembered as a non-believer back then.)
During one Sunday service, Jesus brought to memory how I first believed that Jesus is real. How as an 18 years old non-believer, I trusted that if Jesus is real, surely I will get into this school I wanted. Now as a 27 years old, my thinking becomes more complicated, and my list of consideration becomes longer.
This is my chance, where I can choose to have that bold childlike faith again, and trust that God will give to me this specific job I really like.
And I did. Without receiving any confirmation for the job I wanted, I turned down a few offers, declined multiple interviews- telling them that I will not be continuing with the interview process.
It's hard, every single phone call I made and every single email I sent is as much a testing as it is a strengthening of my faith.
Stop trying too hard
Among the many offers is an offer to be class teacher in a kindergarten. The place was great, and the lady running the place is great as well.
Children holds a very special place in my heart ever since I started serving in children ministry years ago. But I have always feel under qualified to do more for children, as I never received professional training.
This job really looked like it will help me in this aspect, plus, to be brutally honest with you, being a kindergarten teacher sounds like a more kind and loving person than a social media executive. haha
In that same Sunday service, the preacher shared a point about being unqualified. How when God appoints, He annoints. And it just made me realized that I was impatient waiting for God and was making up plans without Him, and was really just trying to make myself feel qualified.
God alone qualifies the call.
His perfect timing
I was actually researching about this company where my new job is at for an article I am writing, I came across the career section and sent in my resume randomly. After that, I was talking to someone and found that she had worked that years ago and she told me stories about the company and how the yhave a great culture there. Needless to say, I have a good impression of them after that.
I was happy when they contacted me, and I went for the interview, and was asked to go back for a second interview on the same day! (surely this is a sign that they liked me right?haha)
It was at this point that I received the other offers, and after turning down all of them. I now am left hanging around while waiting for a yes or no.
After this, the person's house where I have been staying over at, she injured her back. And because I did not take the previous offers, I was free and was able to help them take care of someone at the house while they go to work in the morning.
Tuesday morning, I received a call from the company and they said I have been offered the position! and after that, she managed to find someone who will be able to help out in the morning while they are at work.
Maybe it doesn't sound impressive, but to me it is crazy how perfect His timing is!
Now the journey goes on as I go house hunting for a place closer to work! ٩(๑^o^๑)۶