I am now in my 11th month of this walk with Jesus, and it has been the most amazing 11 month of my life so far. Despite growing up in a traditional Buddhist family, I have gone to church since young, God has placed numerous people in my life all along to bring me to church and to share about His love with me. Christmas has always been my favourite day of the year ever since young, the story of Jesus and His enormous love never fail to captivate my heart. Even when I was not a Christian, i had occasionally prayed to God and had my prayer answered so specifically that I knew it could only be God that has made all these possible.
For example, when I was struggling whether I should come to Singapore alone or not, i prayed to God to show me He is real and show me a sign that a future in Singapore is meant for me. That very same day, I went to this big event organized by a local church, now when i looked back, I cannot exactly remember what happened that night, but just this peace that God is there that night and He had assured me to come.
God has made everything beautiful in His own timing, and I thank God for it. As God slowly revealed His plan for me, I come to appreciate how perfect His timing is. University is the point of life when I really start to think about the direction of life that I want to take. Being a person who just wanna sleep, eat and have fun all day, "meaning-of-life" this kind of thing never really caught my attention until I entered university.
When I came to NTU, I didn't join any FOC camp, I think most people could only imagine the horror I faced stepping into a big lecture theatre alone with no one to talk to and just so out of place. Yanyu is the first few people who offer their sincere friendship to me in Singapore, she told me her conversion story the very first time we met, and she invited me to their talent show thingy during the same week. I didn't show up for the thing unfortunately.
Then during the second week, we had breakfast together at the Palette in school - yanyu, jing ying, and me. She asked if I want to receive Christ that morning, I tried to give some excuses, but deep inside my heart, I know I've been wanting to take this step of faith for months, something inside me stirred and told me that it is now or never, all I have to do is be courageous. And thus, I received the greatest gift of my life on the day that only come once in a lifetime- 20.08.2008!
By His grace, I slowly recognized different side of myself that I never notice before, like pride in my heart, insecurity, selfishness..and frankly, quite a lot of things on the list that I can do better. He transforms me and helps me see the person I could become in Him - the person He had created to be, not just who I thought I am.
First time I went back to Malaysia after I received Christ, all of my best friends said that they see a totally new person in me, it gives them (and me also) a shock. This touches me a lot because people who know me before I received Christ recognized that it is God who had transformed me from the inside out.
God also teaches me to rely on Him more and more each day, and just surrender to Him every aspect of my life, be it financial difficulties, family, relationship with people, or my study. I came to realize that when I am by myself, I am like a disable and blind person, so inadequate and insignificant.
Not forgetting of course the spiritual family that He has blessed me with. There's too many blessings I have received in this short period of time that it seems impossible to recount them all in one blog post. So many people that love me sincerely that sometimes I can't help but think that I have received so much that there is no way I can bless them back in the same amount shown to me.
I recently shared about my story with Jesus to 2 of my friends whom I had became close with during the ACTSpotential camp. I see a lot of myself in them, they are like 2 different situation I used to be in the past, I guess that's why I am very comfortable talking and sharing to them. 1 of them actually came to receive Christ just a few days ago, I lead her through the sinner's prayer over a phone call, I dunno how had I sounded on the phone, but my hands were trembling during the whole process, out of over excitement? or scared that this is my first time doing this? I dunno. But what I do know is this is another beautiful memory I will bring with me to heavens, another sister that will join me in heavens.
It's gonna be one year in this journey soon, but just like the very first day, His perfect plan and timing continue to amaze me every single time, I still cannot fathom how He manage to plan all these, and I still am a person unworthy for this calling. I know I will never reach the standard of perfection in this lifetime, but nothing will ever stop me from trying.
I am His Work-In-Progress